I love acquiring new skills.
I constantly tell myself things like,
“I’m going to learn how to code.”
“I’m gonna master AI.”
“I’m gonna learn how to edit videos.”
“I’m gonna learn how to write stories.”
“I’m gonna learn how to speak articulately.”
etc…
I’m SO obsessed with skill acquisition, if I see a post related to a skill that I want to learn, I immediately bookmark it.
If I see a YouTube tutorial, I would immediately add it to my watch later list.
I would even ask ChatGPT things like,
“Tell me 5 books I need to read to become really good at speaking in English.”
“Tell me the 5 best YouTube channels to learn Machine Learning and AI.”
“What are the only 5 books I need to read to become an amazing writer?”
Once ChatGPT tells me the books, I download them (using a secret website called libgen.is) and store them in a folder called “Library” on my laptop.
Now you might be thinking…
“Ooh, Ali is really dedicated and extremely productive.”
But the truth is…
I never once opened my bookmarks, my watch later list, or the “Library” folder on my laptop.
Yes, I REALLY wanted to learn those skills, but I was not spending my time learning them.
Why?
Because I was distracted.
I didn’t have a structured routine like I do now.
Back then, I would do random stuff all through the day and wonder where all my time went.
I was wasting all my time doing shit.
It’s only when I developed the 3 meta-skills, everything started to change — I was able to learn some of the skills I always wanted to learn.
I learned Python, Machine Learning, Typing (I can type 80 WPM), and Writing.
And today, I want to help you develop those 3 meta-skills so that you can learn any skill you want to learn.
The best part? Once you have these 3 meta-skills, you can achieve anything in life…I mean ANYTHING.
The 3 meta-skills are:
- Self-Awareness.
- Self-Control.
- Self-Discipline.
Let’s start with…
1) Self-Awareness
My mind was cluttered.
I was living like a zombie.
Scrolling mindlessly, binge-watching web-series and anime, playing video games, watching porn, and eating shitty food.
I knew deep down that what I was doing was wrong. But I was not able to control myself.
I lacked self-control.
So to develop self-control, I tried to resist my urge to go on social media, resist my urge to watch web series, etc.
But I failed.
Do you know why?
Because my hands would grab the phone, unlock it, click on YouTube, and my thumb finger starts scrolling through Shorts all in split seconds without even me realizing it.
I was not aware of my own actions.
That’s when I realized before self-control. I need to develop self-awareness.
Now the question is…
How?
How can someone develop the skill of self-awareness?
I read a lot about this and tried a bunch of things.
But the only 2 things that helped were…
- Meditation &
- Journaling
Also, I don’t want to raise your expectations — you’ll not become self-aware after meditating and journaling for a day or two.
Becoming self-aware takes time.
You’ll not experience anything different or see any visible change until you meditate and journal every day for at least 2 weeks consistently.
Here is my recommendation:
- Meditate for 5 minutes every day. Don’t overcomplicate it. Just set a timer for 5 minutes on your phone, close your eyes, and focus on your breath until the timer goes off.
- Journal for just 10 minutes before bed. Don’t journal random stuff; have a set of questions and answer those questions one by one every day. What questions? Don’t worry about that, I created a free Notion journal template for you to do this. Grab it here.
Once you develop the skill of self-awareness, you’ll become aware of your thoughts, your actions, and your emotions.
That’s exactly what we need to develop the 2nd skill — self-control.
2) Self-Control
When you lack self-awareness, you act out of impulse.
For example, when you feel a little bit stressed, you grab your phone and start scrolling without any conscious thought.
But once you develop self-awareness, you’ll not act impulsively.
First, you’ll become aware of your emotion…
“Hmm, I’m feeling stressed.”
Then you’ll become aware of your urge…
“…and, I’m getting an urge to scroll on Instagram.”
This is when self-control comes in.
You need to develop the ability to control yourself from acting on your urges.
Developing this ability takes time. Because, for a very long time, you have trained your brain to…
Scroll when stressed.
Watch porn when lonely.
Binge Netflix when bored.
etc…
Your emotions have become a trigger for those destructive actions.
The neural pathways in your brain associated with those trigger → actions are extremely strong because of so many repetitions.
This is what we call addiction.
So if you want to break your social media addiction or any other addiction, you need to weaken the neural pathways.
This is a huge topic in and of itself.
That’s why I wrote a complete book to help you break free from all your addictions with practical steps👇
It’s absolutely FREE.
The Ultimate Guide To Breaking Addictions In 90 Days (+ 3 Notion Templates Worth $12 For Free)
Grab the above book quickly. It’ll help you understand how addiction actually works, how to break free from all your addictions, and take control of your life.
3) Self-Discipline
Here is what I mean when I say self-discipline:
Doing what needs to be done regardless of how you feel.
You can’t develop this skill without developing the first 2.
Why?
Because:
- Without self-awareness, you won’t even realize what you are doing and why you are doing it (again, you act out of impulse).
- Without self-control, you’ll keep giving in to distractions instead of doing the work you need to do.
And you can’t build discipline in a mind filled with distractions.
That’s why you need to develop those 2 skills first.
Also, once you cut out all the distractions, there is nothing else to do other than work.
Thus, being disciplined becomes much easier.
For example, most people set an intention to hit the gym every day, but they don’t; it’s because working out is not as fun as stuffing potato chips on the face while watching anime.
I experienced this myself.
When I was addicted to instant gratification activities, it was impossible for me to do anything productive.
But once I overcame all my addictions, I was left with boredom. I would lie in my bed and stare at the ceiling for hours, and just sit still doing nothing.
At one point, doing nothing became difficult. I was ready to do anything other than do nothing.
That’s when I started to read books. Reading books became my only source of entertainment — no social media, sports, news, movies, or web series. Just books.
Then I started to hit the gym. Then started to write online. Then started to learn new skills.
It’s a domino effect.
And it all started because…
- I gained awareness.
- Cut out the distractions.
- Embraced boredom.
- Changed my behaviors.
I think this is the right time to end this article.
Sorry if I dragged this too much.
I was trying my best to explain everything clearly because if you truly understand what I shared in this article, you know exactly what you need to do to take control of your life and start building a better one.
Hope it was helpful.
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P.S. Master yourself before you can master other things.