You don’t like the life that you’re living right now.
You know what you need to do to make it better.
But instead of doing that, you waste all your time indulging in instant gratification activities.
You regret doing it every single day, but you’re not able to control yourself from scrolling on social media, watching porn, playing video games, and wasting your time binge-watching movies.
You’re not able to discipline yourself to take the action you know you need to take.
What if I tell you, the reason you’re not able to control yourself from indulging in negative behavior and discipline yourself to do things that would make your life better is…your unwillingness to go through pain. Period.
Let me explain.
If you touch a hot pan, you immediately take off your hand because it’s painful. But if your hand is numb and you don’t feel pain, you don’t take off your hand, but your hand will be burned anyway.
It’s the same for your life.
You’re numbing your life’s pain with distractions. The distractions only mask your pain temporarily, but beneath the surface, they keep making your life more painful.
The more painful your life becomes, the more powerful distractions you’d need. You’d move from scrolling on social media to watching porn every day to taking drugs.
Keeping yourself distracted to avoid pain will only make your life worse.
If you want to make your life better, stop numbing your pain and go through it. Feel the pain every day.
Because when you feel pain, you’ll automatically start to take action — just like how your hand pulls back the moment it touches a hot pan.
As Tony Robbins once said,
Change occurs when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change.
Once you understand that pain is necessary for change and stop avoiding it, your brain starts to rewire.
You’ll become better at handling pain. Especially the emotional pain.
You always escape going through negative emotions. If you feel a little stressed, you grab your phone and start scrolling, a little bored, you turn on Netflix, a little horny, you go incognito mode and do dirty stuff, or a little depressed, you order and eat junk food.
That’s why you lack emotional resilience.
Emotional resilience is the ability to recover, adapt, and stay steady when life throws difficulties, stress, or pain at you.
Do this from now on, when you feel a negative emotion, just sit with it. Initially, it’s going to be extremely difficult and uncomfortable.
But go through it instead of distracting yourself.
With time, you’ll develop emotional resilience.
When you stop escaping pain and giving in to short-term relief, your prefrontal cortex gets strong and becomes active.
The prefrontal cortex is the part of your brain that is responsible for self-control.
Once you develop emotional resilience and self-control, you’ll take the driver’s seat of your life.
Now you can drive it in any direction you want.
The reason you hate your current life is all of your past actions.
You need to stop doing everything that you have been doing till now, and start doing new things.
New habits. New routine. New goals. New challenges.
If you wake up late every day, start waking up early from tomorrow.
If you check your phone first thing in the morning, start going for a walk or reading a book.
If you eat junk and outside food, start eating healthy, home-cooked food.
If you watch Netflix after coming home from work, start learning a skill.
If you scroll on your phone while in bed until you feel sleepy, start staring at the ceiling.
Where you’ll be 1 year, 5 years, or 10 years from now depends on every action that you’re gonna take from this very second.
Make sure they are positive.
That’s it for today.
Hope this piece made you pause and think about your life.
Pain is good.
See you again!
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P.S. Let me remind you once again…pain is good.